Rules for Cell Phone Etiquette

All citizens must everywhere, everyday constantly fiddle with their cell phones. 

At no time is it permissible to sit idle and observe the poetry of life or look into the eyes of another person. 

The arrival of a snippet of text or feed update holds the promise of unimagined pleasure.

Honor thy ringtone and other hand-held devices.

Practice constant devotion to the precious object
Give full attention to the glorious technology.
Maintain unselfish love for the flimsy hardware

Author unknown

Changing Tough Behavior

My Faith In Both My Fathers Has Been Strengthened

On Sunday, April 14, 2013, my dad was teaching the adult Sunday school class at the Carthage Church of Christ. In the middle of an excellent illustration of how we handle frustration, he falls out of the pulpit with a heart that was no longer beating. We discovered later that there were no blockages or any muscle damage; his heart just decided, “Hey, I’m done with this” and quit.

Quickly and decisively, a doctor, a nurse, and a member of the congregation performed CPR. The doctor was the husband of a girl I grew up with in that very building. They were visiting from Woodbury, TN. There were others responsible and we can’t say thank you enough to all of them. For seven minutes they worked to keep my dad alive until the ambulance got there with the defibrillator. Two high voltage shocks later, daddy was awake and knew everyone. No damage of any kind has been reported by the doctors. Here are some thoughts.

God wasn’t ready for dad to go. I am a firm believer in the providence of God and this is your best tool against worry or anxiety. God WILL take care of you. No matter what situation occurs, God will be there to guide you in this life or to an eternal home. So, depend on Him and let Him take care of everything.

Second, many will ask, “why did this happen?” Well, dad’s heart stopped because of an electrical issue. It sometimes gets out of rhythm and I suppose this is a side affect of that condition. I’m sure this is not the spiritual answer that most would expect from such a serious event. I believe a better question to ask when faced with times like this is, “What?” “What are you going to do now that God has spared you? What have you learned from this event?” We can ask “Why” all day long and not really be satisfied. “Why” searches for a cause in the past and “what” searches for an answer to the future. Where would you rather be?

Events like this keep us affixed to the world around us and how the simplest things mean so much. These times also make us keenly aware of our Heavenly home. Which ever you meet on this day, may you see the blessings found therein.

Finally, I am left hoping for more days with my dad and mom. We have a trip planned for the fall and if I can talk him into it, we’re going camping. I’m sure it won’t take much convincing.

BOOK REVIEW: The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be A Better Husband by David Finch

David Finch chronicles the life-changing moments he experiences as he goes from an ego-centric, self-centered jerk to an empathic, thoughtful, and caring husband. Lots of men need to learn the lessons in this book and lots of wives would appreciate it if they did. 

Finch makes the usual mistakes of only thinking of himself, spending too much time at work, and neglecting the various needs of his family. What makes Finch different from most men is that he is not choosing to be a reclusive bullhead. Instead, Finch does not have the natural capabilities to think of others because he has Aspergers Syndrome; typically referred to as a mild form of Autism.
Aspergers Syndrome is a condition defined by the Mayoclinic as a developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others. Furthermore, people with Aspergers Syndrome typically exhibit social awkwardness and an all-absorbing interest in specific topics because of a lack of empathy. In other words, if you tell him to consider the feelings of others, he will have no idea what that means or how to do it.  

As an adult with Asperger’s Syndrome, Finch was only interested in what his needs were and his obsessive-compulsive tendencies made his behavior even more unbearable. He was disturbed by the fact that anyone would take a shower in less than an hour and when some friends played their usual board games out of order, he became increasingly agitated. “Don’t they know we always play Boggle first?” Biologically, it is impossible for him to think of others. It would be like telling a fish to breathe air. He could maintain the sense of empathy in his courtship days, but to his own admission, maintaining this persona was exhausting once he was married.
The real Finch was released on his unsuspecting, non-OCD wife, Kristen. However, it was because of Finch’s love for Kristen that he overcame his biology and taught himself to be a better husband. Men, if you want a happy marriage, learn from what was exhausting work for Finch. You have the talent that he lacked naturally so no excuses.
After Finch was diagnosed with Aspergers, he kept a journal, outlining behaviors that were appropriate and that were inappropriate. Keep in mind that this was not just affecting his marriage. Finch’s behaviors were so severe that he would often be late for work by several hours just because he did not know how to dress the kids or behave when his morning routine was out of sync. His wife did everything and it was killing her. Finch had no idea how to think outside himself and had to learn how to do a lot.
Here are just a few of the “best practices” that are reflected in the chapter titles:
  1. Be her friend first and always.
  2. Use your words, ie. Don’t blow up or pout if things don’t go your way.
  3. Get inside her “girl world” and look around. You must know who your wife is if you are to make her happy.
  4. Just listen
  5. You must do things around the house that you don’t want to do because, guess what, that’s part of running a house. For Finch, it was doing the laundry.
  6. Go with the flow.
  7. When necessary, redefine perfection. What is your picture of a happy marriage? It might not be what someone else’s is. Be happy with what you have and make the most of it.
  8. Be loyal to your true stakeholders.
  9. Take notes: Be aware of how you are performing as a parent and spouse. Also, care about it.
  10. Give your spouse some space.
  11. Be present in moments with the kids.
  12. Parties are supposed to be fun.
  13. Do all that you can to be worthy of her love.

Most men don’t think of their wives’ needs because they just don’t. Their’s is a choice where Finch, over an almost two year time period, had to train himself to think of others, to be in the moment, and to not freak out when things did not go exactly as planned (those with Asperger’s don’t like surprises).
Maybe other men do not see the value in considering their wives’ feelings, maybe they don’t want to make the effort, maybe their wives make it difficult to do, or maybe they are just jerks. 
Finch admits that his efforts were not totally without self-serving motives. He wanted to be happy and he realized the only way this would happen is if he made his wife happy. This sort of unselfish love is what every marriage needs. Think of him/her first and happiness will come. 

Because of Finch’s efforts to please his wife, he remarks that he would often get teased about being, “gay.” He would want to spend time with her by doing things she enjoyed, and by having a general interest in her happiness. “Which is more ‘gay?’” he asks. “Watching a movie and then having hot sex with your wife, or falling asleep alone on the couch watching half-naked UFC male fighters go at it?” His point is well made.

Making the Change with Advocare

Behavior change regarding your health is easy but difficult at the same time. It is easy because you know that eating right will make a big difference in your life and you want this. It is difficult in that drastic changes must be made and committed to. This, by its very nature, takes discipline and is a struggle. 
Eating right is the obvious change but what other changes must be made? You will have to shop smarter, you will have to exercise, and you will have to do whatever else is specific to your situation. For me, I have to commit to getting up at 4:30AM to exercise. There is no other time for me to do this. It’s not easy but it is simple because that’s when I must exercise so that’s when I do it. You must do what it takes to make your changes and the first step is easy. Make that decision.

Advocare can make this change easier to bear. You get a solid program with a cookbook and supplements that make you a fat burning, muscle building machine.

Prepare Now for Your New Year’s Weight Loss with Advocare

It happens every year, when we wake up December 26 in a holiday stupor. We are bloated from all the food and somehow perplexed that there’s a tree in our living room. Then, all the morning news shows begin to guilt us into losing those “unwanted pounds in the new year.” Even Richard Simmons will make an appearance, I’m sure of it. Well, at the risk of sounding mainstream, Advocare can help you lose those holiday pounds.
I have gone through both LA Weight Loss and Weight Watchers, and I have been successful with them. However, I felt like I was missing something. Yes, I was missing fat, but without the supplements offered by Advocare I was losing things I needed. I was sluggish and my muscle mass also diminished. A lighter man is no good if he is a weaker man. Items like Catalyst, Spark, and the delicious Chocolate Meal Replacement have made me believe that Advocare is where I will find ultimate success. There are no meetings to go to and you can actually make money on it! How’s that for opportunity? A thinner waist and a fatter wallet. You can’t beat that.
There are some things you need to do to prep, so contact me and we can talk about you actually meeting those goals you’ve set for the last several years.

Change Now and You Won’t Regret It Later

As I have told people about me working to lose weight through the Advocare program, their first response is, “Now? During the Holidays?” They’re right. It is the absolute worst time to lose weight. No other month long period has more scores of delicious food. Plus, this is the only time of year some foods are typically prepared. However, I’m fat all year long and I’m tired of being fat. I didn’t want 30 more days to extend my waistline. Plus, the time of year has nothing to do with it. It’s all on me. What I decide I’m going to eat. This is a lifestyle change; not a one time try it and see change.
Your frame of mind on food is very important when trying to eat right. For instance, some food just isn’t worth it. Are you telling me you can’t say no to fruitcake and pumpkin pie? Both have to be the most mediocre desserts known to man. Also, never am I more disappointed than when I bite into a cookie and realize it’s an oatmeal raisin. My first thought is, “this would be really good if it were a chocolate chip cookie.” 

There has to be food you say no to and these are just some of mine. I also say no to Sonic French fries. Realize that you have a choice in your food intake, and begin saying yes to food that is good for you. You can still have the foods you enjoy, but your clothes will fit better.
It’s not easy. I have guidance and help through the Advocare program. You can get this too.

My Personal Progress after the 24-Day Challenge
Weight Lost – 13 pounds
Inches Lost – 14.5

The new year is right around the corner. Contact me and we can begin discussing your health improvement plans for the new year.

“But I’m hungry all the time.” Not with Advocare.

Hungry allthe time is too much. However, you are supposed to be hungry a couple of hours after every meal. You should be eating a lot, just not all at one time. AdvoCare can show you how to do this.
I have been that unhealthy fat consuming machine and I’m working on changing that. Just how bad have I been? To give you some perspective, I’ve been comatose after eating three slabs of ribs in a single sitting. Also, the plate of wings at Outback that are supposed to be shared among four people is my regular meal along with a salad and a Bloomin’ Onion to start. I can down a 40oz milk shake in less than three minutes, eat bowls of cake and ice cream, and easily drink hot sauce. Well, just because I can do these things, it doesn’t mean that I should. 
There are some circles where such feats of gluttony are prized, but I no longer want to have any part of that. I want to act healthy, eat healthy, and be healthy. I can still eat foods I enjoy sometimes, but by being a healthier person I can also run in obstacle course 5Ks like the WarriorDash and the Mud Run. My times were pitiful last year, and I plan on remedying that.

Is Advocare A Crash Diet?

I wouldn’t call Advocare a crash diet because I have no plan to crash at the end and gain all my weight back. Advocare is a way to lose some stubborn pounds and begin a new lifestyle. So actually, it’s a jump start. 

Relatively speaking, maintaining your weight is easier than losing it. I’ve weighed the same since high school. Now, I can’t powerlift 500 pounds anymore so there has been a loss of muscle of course, but I weigh the same and wear the same sizes.
In any case, losing weight is definitely the tough part. Advocare makes it easier by giving you a method to lose a lot of weight quickly over their 24 Day Challenge. It is during this challenge that you will drastically change your eating habits and lose weight. The goal is then to keep the weight off which is what you want to do. 

If you have no desire to continue healthy eating habits after this challenge, you will ultimately fail. However, the path Advocare puts you on can be maintained, and with the supports it offers, that is possible for anyone willing to try.

My Progress: As of day eleven in the 24 Day Challenge, I have lost 9.4lbs and a total of 8.25 inches. I am now starting the 14 day segment where I alternate burn and refuel days.

More Than Salads, A Lot More: The Advocare Way

Most people equate weight loss with eating nothing but rabbit food. Well, while you do need to eat more greens for a generally healthy diet, you are able to eat like never before through the Advocare program. Protein is a huge component. This morning, I had FIVE eggs for breakfast (1 whole & 4 whites) along with some oat meal. I’ve never eaten so many eggs in one sitting in my life.  

I’m actually eating all through the day, but I’m eating all the right things. Additionally, the supplements from Advocare help me get all the nutrients I’m supposed to have so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on something or losing muscle.  Plus, I feel great and this is why I’m an Advocare user and distributor. I want others to know the wealth of benefits that come from eating well. A healthier you is a happier you is a more pleasant time at home with your family.

A Healthier Life with Advocare

Malita and I are beginning a weight loss program this morning. A healthy diet is key to a productive and healthy life. I know that sounds cliche but think about it; when you eat poorly, you are going to feel bad. You will be less productive at work, have less energy, and not feel like playing with your kids. Wouldn’t the opposite of all this really be nice? I have tried to do it on my own with little to no success. 
The Advocare program promises results and convenience through a supplement based program.  

Let’s see what happens.