NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT:
All citizens must everywhere, everyday constantly fiddle with their cell phones.
At no time is it permissible to sit idle and observe the poetry of life or look into the eyes of another person.
The arrival of a snippet of text or feed update holds the promise of unimagined pleasure.
Honor thy ringtone and other hand-held devices.
Practice constant devotion to the precious object.
Give full attention to the glorious technology.
Maintain unselfish love for the flimsy hardware.