Men often struggle with just what to say to their wives. We tell them we love them but somehow this isn’t good enough. We tell them good morning and this doesn’t work either. “What’s going on?” men lament with a frustrated tone.
Think of Valentine’s Day. Saying the stuff you are just supposed to say or that you say everyday is like presenting her with a little candy heart. It’s nice, cute and is made of sugar, but it’s not that impressive. She wants the candy hearts. They are expected. You know that you’ll see them starting sometime in January and they will be everywhere. Well, what she wants every now and then is a Dove chocolate bar. I am speaking metaphorically of course. On occasion she wants you to stop what you’re doing, have her stop what she is doing and reveal to her your innermost thoughts regarding her. This takes a bit of planning, but you’re good at that. Jack Nicholson does it best in this scene from As Good As It Gets.
You might not be Jack, (my wife is thankful I’m not) so what can you say? Keep in mind that these just get you started. If she suspects that you’re response to her is canned, she’ll appreciate the effort, but it’ll be a Hershey’s Kiss, not a full Dove bar like you’re shooting for. Do this right and just wait’ll she gets a load of you.
- Remember that time we went to / ate at / ___________________? I really enjoyed it. You looked so beautiful. This tells her you were thinking about her earlier in the day. Keeping a collection of good memories that involve her can give you a quick resource.
- You are so good at ____________________. It helps me so much and I appreciate it. Women enjoy praise as much as men. Verifying her talents will show her you respect her talents.
- You’re such a good mom. She is constantly comparing herself to other women and families. She wants to know she’s a good mom and hearing this from you means a lot.
Speaking to your wife’s heart is how you can connect with her emotionally. It could be just what your relationship needs.